Revenge of The Lemon Drops
by SylvaDragon
Summary: A terrified Albus wakes Minerva up yet again, after yet another nightmare. How will Minerva cope ? Fluffy silliness with Albus and Minerva. MMAD.


Revenge of The Lemon Drops

It was the first week in December, and Albus had already begun to celebrate Christmas, despite Minerva's ascerbic assertions that Christmas did not begin until Christmas Eve. He had taken to wearing the most hideous bright red hat around the school, it had a merrily decorated christmas tree perched precariously on top of it, and Albus had charmed it so that tiny snow clouds would occassionally appear and snow gently on the topmost branches of the tree, frequently showering anyone who happened to walk by with snow flakes.

When Minerva had finally given up on marking scrolls and decided it was time for bed, she had found her husband already slumbering peacefully. Gazing down at his snowman covered pyjamas in disgust she thanked Merlin that at least he couldn't wear that blasted hat in bed. Then sank wearily between the sheets and fell instantly asleep.

Minerva groaned as an ear piercing shriek wrenched her from the world of well deserved slumber. Forcing her bleary eyes open she saw Albus sitting upright quivering all over, his bright blue eyes still full of horror.

Minerva reached out and clasped her husband's hand firmly in her's. "Did you have another nightmare ?" She enquired, as she stifled a sigh, this was Albus' third nightmare in a week.

The only answer was the tiniest of nods, as Albus still seemed speechless with terror.

"Same as last time ?" Minerva asked as she started to pat Albus' hand absently, and tried not to wonder how many times before she had done this.

Another pitiful nod of the silvery head, as Albus pulled the covers tightly round his neck as though he wished to hide under them. Minerva winced as the icy cold air hit her suddenly uncovered toes, opened her mouth to snap at Albus then surrended to the plea in those sapphire eyes of his. As gently as she could she said. "There there Albus, the lemon drops don't really want to eat you, they're not really chasing you, they're just running towards you so that you can eat them." _'Old fool.' _Minerva thought to herself as she tried not to roll her eyes and continued to pat her husband's hand soothingly.

"Then why are they growling at me ?" Albus whimpered pitifully, "They hate me Minerva, I tell you they do ... they hate me because I'm always ..." Albus stopped suddenly looking absolutely petrified, and then whispered "Well you know ..."

Minerva sighed, this was a ritual they had gone through many many times, if only Albus would learn not to over indulge in rich foods like chocolate cookie trifle or lemon meringue pie with lashings of chocolate ice cream just before bed. Would he never grow up ? How many times had she lectured him, and yet he never listened espeicially at this time of year. Why was it that he seemed to view Christmas as an excuse to over indulge in everything that was bad for him ?

"They're not growling at you Albus." She said as patiently as she could, whilst thanking Merlin that her students couldn't see her right now. "They're singing you a lullabye, now go back to sleep like a good wizard."

Albus' eyes were like great round sky blue saucers as he whimpered, "They only want me to go back to sleep so they can chase me again ... I've told you before Minerva, never trust a lemon drop !"

_'I'll be growling at you in a minute if you don't shut up and let me get some sleep.' _Mineva thought as she barely supressed the urge to clout her husband round the head with a pillow, and tell him to stop acting like a five year old.

There was a seconds pause as Minerva tried to think of some way to get Albus back to sleep, other than tipping dreamless sleep potion down his throat, then she had a brainwave. "Then you must summon the Giant Ginger Newt to defend you." She said matter of factly.

"The Giant Ginger Newt ?" Albus queried, as he gazed at her like a small boy who hoped for salvation from an evil monster.

"Yes." Minerva said firmly, then made a fatal error. "It eats nasty lemon drops, it devours them all until none are left." Minerva folded her arms across her chest and tried to look as though she were an expert on such things, and not feeling extremely foolish.

Instantly Albus gasped in horror, "But then there won't be any left for me ..." Albus clapped his hands over his mouth in horror and shrank against Minerva in terror. "Do you think they heard ?" He whispered so softly Minerva could barely hear him.

Minerva glared at the cringing figure of her husband in fury, the man was impossible, here it was nearly three in the morning and she had to be up at six to get ready for the day's classes. "Albus really, grow up and stop being ridiculous !" She exploded, "Lemon drops do not have ears, nor do they growl at people either. Honestly can't you tell the difference between dream and reality ? Now lie down, shut up and go back to sleep at once !"

As Albus opened his mouth as though to protest, Minerva gave him her most fiercesome death glare and snarled. "Not one more word Albus, do as you're told at once, and stop looking at me with those pleading puppy eyes too."

Albus sniffed mournfully as though he thought Minerva very cruel indeed, Minerva could almost have sworn that he stifled a pitiful sob as he snuggled unwillingly under the covers. _'I'm not falling for his crocodile tears.' _She told herself firmly.

Minerva turned her back firmly on her hapless husband, snorted in a threatening manner and tried to go back to sleep. With luck she would dream of suitable ways to teach annoying husbands a lesson they wouldn't forget in a hurry. Minerva grinned to herself, and was just about to fall asleep when Albus poked her imploringly in the back. "Minerva ... Minerva ... are you still awake ?" He pleaded.

Minerva ignored him resolutely and for a few minutes all was peaceful. Then just as she felt her eyes begin to close she felt a familliar boney finger prod her once more. "Minerva I'm scared ... if I go back to sleep the lemon drops might get me ..." her infuriating husband whimpered.

Minerva clenched her hands in rage, and surpressed the urge to swear violently in her native gaelic, instead she snored loudly.

"Minerva are you asleep ? Minerva ... " Albus whispered miserably.

Minerva's only answer was several long snores, which seemed to have the desired effect. Once again all was silent, as Albus tossed and turned miserably against her, and huddled ever closer and closer to her, until Minerva was right on the edge of their vast double bed. Through all this, Minerva continued to snore determinedly, as she began to imagine all the ways she could get revenge on her husband for behaving in such a childish way.

Suddenly to Minerva's disbelief Albus began to sing to himself, one of his new favourite songs which he'd heard played on one of the student's radios. "Oh I wish it could be Christmas every day, let the bells ring out for Christmas ..." He sang in a tone of forced merriment.

"What the hell do you think you are doing ?" Minerva demanded to know as she shot bolt upright in bed and glared at Albus, as though she would like to feed him to the lemondrops herself.

"I'm trying to distract myself from being afraid to go to sleep my dear." Albus answered, "You know I told one of the first years this trick just a few days ago, when she was afraid of monsters which she thought might be hiding in the disused classroom on the third floor. I do believe it was quite successful ..."

As Albus continued to ramble aimlessly Minerva's hands kneaded and pounded her pillow, as though it were her husband's head. Finally her patience exhausted, she bellowed loud enough to make the rafters shake. "Albus Dumbledore if you dare to make one more sound tonight, if you dare to so much as move I will personally feed you to the lemondrops. Now be silent at once !"

"But I have to sing, so that I stay awake, if I fall asleep the lemon drops will get me." Albus protested.

Suddenly Minerva had a brilliant idea, and with a wicked glint in her emerald eyes said. "Oh you don't need to worry about that Albus ..."

"I don't ?" Albus asked hopefully.

"No, " Said Minerva, "You see you don't have to be asleep for the lemon drops to get you. They can get you when you're awake as well, so if I were you I'd run ... because they're very angry indeed with you."

Minerva almost felt guilty as Albus paled slghtly and stared aghast at her, almost but not quite.

"Don't you see them ?" She asked, "Don't you see the giant lemon drops ? Can't you hear them growling ?"

Albus' head swivelled in horror, his eyes like great round saucers of fear. Wandlessly Minerva cast a simple illusion spell and a low growl sounded from behind the red and gold brocade curtains across the arched window, as they billowed threateningly.

Instantly Albus shot off the bed and vanished through the door. Minerva sighed contentedly, and ignoring the resounding crash from the next room as Albus presumably tripped over something large and heavy, settled back against the pillow. As her eyes fluttered shut, she could hear the pitter patter of her husband's feet on the stairs, sighing blissfuly and resolutely ignoring the tiny voice that entreated her to go after him Minerva fell asleep.

And that was why Albus Dumbledore was found later that day curled up fast asleep in a dark out of the way corner of the castle, cuddling a moth eaten old cushion as though it were a teddy bear.

Fortunately it was his wife who found him, after several hours of anxious guilt ridden searching, and who woke him tenderly with a soft kiss on his wizened cheek. Then led him by the hand to their private chambers where she delivered a stern lecture about not eating rich food late at night, and not being foolish enough to believe in such nonsence as murderous lemon drops.

To which Albus' only response was a meek "Yes dear," followed by two or three "Anything you say dears," and a "You are of course absolutely right my dear," for good measure. Mollified by this, Minerva brushed some stray cobwebs from his beard gently, kissed him lightly and then let him fall asleep with his head in her lap, as she stroked his silvery hair tenderly.

_Author's Notes_

_This plot bunny came to mind when I was playing a game where my character was being chased by giant blobs of jelly. I couldn't help but think of Albus. :D I can't help but wonder if it's a little too silly, for I very much doubt that Albus would really be so scared, but then it does make me laugh, and so I hope it makes you laugh too. :D My excuse is that he's probably not fuly awake and not his normal self. ;)_

_Please review, otherwise the giant lemon drops will get you. ;)_


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